How it started

You’re functioning, but just barely.

You’re exhausted, overstimulated or emotionally numb.

Maybe you’ve been navigating deep fatigue, stress or a subtle yet profound shift you can’t fully name.

You might assume you just need more sleep, but you know there is more to it than that. You have sensed that it will take more for you to recover than what you’ve been offered, but you don’t know what else is needed.

I know what that feels like.

My name is Ayanna. I’ve been a PA for nearly 20 years in a variety of settings, and in that time, I have learned much about medicine. However, as I matured in my practice and understanding of healing, I began to feel the quiet limitations in the model, especially when it came to the body’s innate wisdom. I saw the challenge that so many had in finding genuine wellness, as if they were barely surviving (definitely not thriving). The answer did not always have a clear explanation and it didn’t always show up on scans or in the labs.

My own experience with burnout brought about a new level of awareness and a startling realization that too many of my decisions did not reflect what I wanted or how I felt. And those choices were slowly but steadily draining. At first, I felt alone in this understanding, but the more conversations I had with other women, especially high performing women, other clinicians and caregivers, the more I saw a disturbing pattern of self abandonment that I could not unsee. That pattern is what I now call a protective identity: the roles we took on and the person we each became because it brought us love, recognition or made us feel safe. This protective identity is now the one that costs too much for many of us to maintain.

This understanding and the subsequent journey can be both profound and startling. It requires us to question old beliefs and break free from limiting constructs. That kind of self-investigation can feel destabilizing. The journey might feel lonely.

But you’re not crazy.

You’re not broken.

And you are not alone.

Welcome to The In Between. This space was made for you.